Final Fantasy VII: AC

Imagine you were given a golden egg, then you dropped it and drove over it with your car. Pick it up and that's Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children. You take a near perfect videogame, some of the best CG animators on the planet, and then you let a first time director and a poor writer drive it into the ground. Well, at least it was cool seeing high rez CG versions of our favorite FFVII characters.Biases up front. I like anime. Heck, I love it. I've been a gamer and a fanboy my whole life. I've lived in Japan and have boxes of otaku goodness that my wife is begging me to throw out. Yet even I didn't like Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, and when it comes to Japanese film, I'm pretty forgiving.

Did FFVII look good? Yes. Everyone looked stunning, and the action sequences moved very well. The loving attention to Cloud and his crew are what save the film from being a 2 star picture. The art director clearly knows his FFVII, and while there are many new elements, they all feel right at home in the FFVII universe.

It isn't that I mind surreal, existential, or postmodern film, which is a problem some people have with Japanese cinema and anime. It was just dull. There was a lot of moping about, something about saving children and dull enemies that magically, without much reason, morph into Sepiroth. The writer had elements he wanted to work in, redemption, forgiveness, hope, but his iconic approach lacked any sort of context. It was as storytelling had been replaced by iconography. Luckily for Square-Enix FFVII has some strong icons for fans to latch on to.

Am I happy they made it? Of course I am. I love FFVII as much as the next guy. Really, a shallow story with some decent fighting would have been fine by me. Instead we are treated the the most boring Final Fantasy story yet. So rent it for the eye candy and nostalgia, as that's all that's there.

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